I’m thrilled to be able to share with you a guest post from Erin today! Look for more from Erin at her blog and hopefully here again in the future! If you’d like to talk about sharing a guest post here, send me an email!
Hello. This is awkward.
I offered to write a guest post, and I did. And then, instead of doing the edits Krista suggested… I went and lost my mind. You can read more about what happened here.
Instead of working on my original post (which was about Pinterest, if you must know), I wanted to just sit down, grab a mug of tea, prop my feet up and be honest, y’all. Because we’re all friends here, right? And no one is judging…right?
Here’s what I have to tell you today: Sometimes, life is pretty crappy. Sometimes it plain down sucks.
I feel down and discouraged. I’m hating on my house. I’ve ignored my husband, and I yelled at my three-year-old about 1,098,538.5 times today. I know you’ve had those days too. At least I hope you have, or I’m going to be super duper embarrassed.
OK, so the question is… What can we do about it?
Since I’m the one sitting here covered in bedbug bites (you really should read the link above), I feel I have earned the right to say that it’s ok to be frustrated when things don’t go the way you wish they would. I also feel I’ve earned the right to say… that’s not an excuse to walk around feeling sorry for yourself. Nobody benefits when you lose your mind. (I’m telling myself this, really, but maybe you can benefit too.)
I’m sitting here brainstorming solutions. How can I deal when things go absolutely haywire? How can I manage to keep my cool and not be swallowed up by the situation? How can we survive (dare I say thrive?) when we seem to be drowning in the unfair-ness of it all?
I’ve got nothing. Kidding. What follows is a list of ideas I’ve come up with to help me cope until things clear up. (They will clear up…They will clear up…)
1. Acknowledge — Say to yourself (out loud if you must) “This is happening. This is really unfair, and I’m angry (sad/scared/anxious) about it.” These are valid and real emotions and responses. You don’t need to hide them. (Note: You will not be able to force others to acknowledge. My husband still doesn’t think bedbugs are a big issue.)
2. Act — Do what you can (and don’t try to do what you can’t). Come up with a plan, and work with others to get it done. (For me, this involves developing a full-out attack strategy with my fabulous exterminator and talking to my city’s housing department.) A note about this one: Please remember that you can only do so much. Don’t drive yourself crazy trying to control an uncontrollable situation.
3. Agape — This is an interesting one, but SO important for me, personally. Here is the definition of Agape (from about.com): selfless, sacrificial, unconditional love. What does this mean for us? Basically this: Even if you’re not feeling it: love those around you (read: don’t scream at your kids). Don’t turn an internal struggle with your situation into an external battle with others.
4. Achieve Perspective — Remember that you are not the only one in the world who is struggling. One evening this week, as I
whined and complained about discussed my bedbug debacle with my mom, she said this: “Honey, bedbugs are not terminal.” Take a few minutes when you need to and grasp the bigger picture.
5. Ask — I always encourage others to be honest… to share their hearts… because we just never know what may come of it. When we’re struggling, this is especially important. Don’t be a burden to others by constantly complaining and having a negative spirit. But, DO share and ask for (and accept) help wherever possible. We aren’t solo agents, Mamas. We were never meant to “do life” alone.
At the end of all that, I’m still feeling pretty crappy about my current life situation. But, I feel just a bit more equipped to handle whatever tomorrow may bring. I hope you do, too, friends.
I want to thank you for allowing me to hash this out with you. And, I welcome your feedback (be gentle… I’m emotionally vulnerable!) Oh, and Krista… If you’ll have me back… I promise to finish that Pinterest post…
Erin is a full-time wife and mom who just began blogging at www.joyfilledmornings.