What on earth is wrong with me this year? I cannot get myself into the “Christmas spirit” (whatever that really means)!
I started out well enough, getting our Christmas tree up the week after Thanksgiving, a perfectly respectable date for that activity. I decorated the rest of the house, even did some Christmas shopping with my friend that week, though most of the presents for my boys have been picked up over the past few months. We went to see Santa, saw a Christmas parade. But now that we’re in Crunch Time (ELEVEN DAYS until Christmas, people!), I just don’t feel Christmasy!
We’ve barely touched our muffin tin advent calendar that I worked so hard on last year. I have yet to wrap one present. I still have Christmas presents to make and buy. We haven’t made a bunch of adorable Christmas crafts. We haven’t made a big batch of Christmas cookies, mostly because I’m trying pretty desperately to finish the Cinchspiration program on a strong note. I haven’t sat down to watch one classic Christmas movie, only one Lifetime Christmas movie (and I planned to review a corny Christmas movie each week!), and we haven’t taken a nighttime drive to look at the Christmas lights.
I’ve decided that maybe it’s a combination of two things:
1) Last year, I set the bar super-high. It was our first Christmas with the boys in our new house after a string of temporary housing situations. We moved from the town where my husband and I went to college to a new small city three months after our oldest, Miles, was born. We lived in someone’s (very nice) basement, then on to a home that we rented, but having our own home made everything just feel *right* last year. We finally felt settled in our new little hometown and I wanted Christmas to be perfect. It pretty much was, but now I feel like I gave every bit of my Christmas soul last year and there’s none left for us this year.
2) Is it possible that as I get older, my memories of Christmases past are so glamorized by the passage of time that the conditions have to be ABSOLUTELY PERFECT for it to feel like Christmas now? I need it to be cold, have that feeling of snow in the air, strangers bursting into Christmas carols, no one fighting or bickering, hot cocoa flowing like water, the sound of reindeer bells jingling in the background at all times…It’s like I want it to look like a Hallmark Christmas movie before I can feel it. Do we just have a ridiculous notion of how Christmas is supposed to look, sound, and feel? Probably. Maybe I’m a casualty of the Pinterestization of America, where I feel like it’s my duty to knit everyone a personalized Christmas sweater, decorate cake balls to look like Santa and his elves, and take incredible Christmas portraits. Perhaps this just a #FirstWorldChristmasProblem.
Or? Maybe I’m just lazy.
Perhaps I need a visit from the ghosts of Christmas past, present, or future to make things right. Or maybe I need a megadose of Christmas Cheer in the form of “Elf” on repeat.
I have gone back to taking D and B vitamins, and fish oil capsules that helped me get through the early Seasonal-Affected days of 2012, when I found myself wanting to stay in bed all day and contemplate the meaning of life. Can you get Christmas Cheer in pill form? Do they maybe sell that at Whole Foods? or is that maybe a North Pole specialty that I need to order online?
I don’t want to sound like a total Scrooge and make you feel sorry for my kids. We’ve been reading Christmas stories, going to Christmas programs, singing Christmas songs, so they’re getting the 2 and 4 year old Christmas experience. The problem is just me.