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I Ate All Your Cookies (and Other Things You Wish You Could Tell Your Kids) – Book Review

There are some things you just can’t say to your kids, no matter how badly you want to say them. I Ate All Your Cookies (and Other Things You Wish You Could Tell Your Kids) is a hilarious parenting book by Quinn Conroy that will make you laugh while you nod your head at the truth of the sayings.

This small, paperback humor book is one you’ll find yourself reading out loud to your spouse or mom/dad friends. This isn’t an inspirational book that will have you reaching for Kleenex — unless you’re laughing so hard you’re crying, that is. It’s irreverent, brutally honest, and definitely funny.

Here’s a few of the gems you’ll find inside I Ate All Your Cookies:

•The fact that you eat glue makes me wonder if you’re really as smart as I tell other people you are.
•I lied. The cookies aren’t all gone. I’m going to eat them when you’re asleep. And they’re going to be delicious.
•I love you, but no, I don’t really think you’re going to be an astronaut.

At times, you may find yourself thinking “Hmmm, that’s kinda mean” but remember, these aren’t things you’re saying to your kids. It’s thoughts you yourself have likely had. It covers everything from the newborn days to the teenager years, so anyone with kids will enjoy it. I’ll say that there is some mildly offensive language, but nothing too bad.

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It’s a quick read (at 203 pages with one quote or a cute photo/illustration on each), but one you can pick up many times and skim any time you need a good hard laugh. There’s something freeing about knowing someone else has been embarrassed by the same things and thinks the same thoughts about their children.

I Ate All Your Cookies retails for $10.99 (way cheaper than therapy!) and is available in paperback or ebook at,, and many other online book retailers.

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About Krista

Krista is a full-time working mom of two boys, currently aged 6 and 7. She lives in Kentucky with her husband, Brandon.


  1. Sounds like an awesome Christmas gift for my parents! Sold! 🙂

  2. I can think of a few moms who would love to get this for Christmas. 🙂

  3. Michelle Mills says:

    Some things in life are wastes of time…

  4. This is hilarious. Zach and I ate all NR’s Halloween candy. 🙂

  5. This sounds so cute. I’d live to get a couple for gifts. Can’t wait to read the rest of them.

  6. My name isn’t Mommy anymore is one I tell them routinely.

  7. Would love to either read this for myself or use for a secret sister gift 🙂

  8. I would tell them that school doesnt get any easier than right now in 2nd grade… suck it up buttercup 🙂