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Mommy Brain

Playdate crashers, I have to tell you about my yesterday.

My husband is away for work and will be gone for two weeks.  I hate parenting alone, but I was feeling pretty good about the way things went on Saturday, when we made it to a birthday party and to the store with no major catastrophes.

Sunday morning, we woke up, the boys got their breakfast and I settled Spencer in his Pack N Play with some exciting toys and Miles plopped down with my iPod Touch on my bed while I took a quick shower.  The boys played nicely while I finished getting ready, I got the boys dressed in their Sunday best, and I gathered all of our things so that we could head to church.  I remember looking at the clock at one point and thinking “Wow, I’m awesome!  We’re going to be on time, if not early!”

And that, my friends, is when the morning spiraled out of control.

KEYS WITH KEY FOB 01 © Peter Mautsch / Maranso Gmbh | Dreamstime.com

We walked out the front door (not the garage door, as is typical, but that’s another story, one that involves garage door cables breaking and us getting trapped in the garage) and I locked the door behind us.  I got the boys in the car, which I had left unlocked the afternoon before.  I put my purse and diaper bag in the back of the car and grabbed my keys — oh wait, where are my keys?

I began to frantically search through my purse and diaper bag, realizing that if I didn’t have my keys, that meant no car keys and no house keys.  Which meant we were stranded.

When I was in middle school and high school, I would come home after school and be by myself for a while before my parents got home and I was prone to forgetting my house key, so I got to be very good at both jimmying the lock with a credit card and climbing through the downstairs bathroom window.  I feared this past experience was going to come in necessary.

Two Starbucks cards and one insurance card later (and destroyed), I realized that my amateur burglar skills were no match for this door.  The garage entry door is quite easy to get into BUT I had of course secured the deadbolt.  My only options now were to call our landlord for an extra key or find an open window.  I called our landlord and then set about looking for a window.

I found that our dining room window was indeed unlocked and after fumbling with the screen for a few minutes, I started experimenting with various outdoor toys belonging to my children to see which one would hold my weight long enough for me to reach the window.  I hit the jackpot with the Little Tikes Cozy Coupe.

Playdate crashers, let me just tell you that it is a very good thing that the dining room window is on the BACK side of our house, because I was dressed in a knee-length skirt for church and that window is a good distance from the ground, even with a brightly colored car to climb upon.  In between climbing attempts, I looked around at our neighbors’ houses, alternately hoping they weren’t around to see this and hoping someone would come to my aid.

After several failed attempts, I realized that because there was nothing but a dining chair with Spencer’s booster chair attached on the other side, I was going to have a long, hard fall once I made it through that tiny window.  An arm, a neck, at least the booster chair was going to be broken.  I had just mustered up the courage to go for it when I heard a beautiful sound, the sound of our landlord pulling into the driveway with the spare key.

I didn’t find my keys at first cursory glance around the house.  I borrowed the spare key from our landlord and snatched the extra set of car keys so we could at least get to church and back, but I could not figure out where my real keys were.  All during church, I replayed the last 24 hours in my mind.

Finally, Sunday afternoon, I sat down to go through the diaper bag one last time before losing my mind and that’s where I discovered my poor, lost keys — in a far, obscure pocket of my diaper bag, which had been with me the entire morning.

I know “they” say Mommy Brain doesn’t exist, but clearly “they” haven’t observed my life.

How about you?  What are some of your most embarrassing Mommy Brain moments?

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About Krista

Krista is a full-time working mom of two boys, currently aged 6 and 7. She lives in Kentucky with her husband, Brandon.

Comments

  1. I too have had a problem with my keys. I lose them all the time… I used to lose them all the time. Randy goes to church super early as he is the youth minister and needs to be early and prepared so I have the joy of getting the kids ready by myself every Sunday. When Nathan was about 6 weeks old (he had never missed church in his short life yet) I was walking out the door with both kids and of course, couldn’t find my keys. We didn’t have a spare set to the car so I couldn’t go grab them and worry about the keys later. Our car only came with the one set and it was so expensive to get another set that we just never did it. I searched and searched, called Randy at church to see if he had a clue (knowing he didn’t), and retraced my steps over and over. Well, we didn’t make it to church that day. Randy even ended up coming home sick during the last service, but late enough that it wouldn’t have made sense to take his car to get there for the last 30 minutes. I was so mad!!! After a WEEK of searching for the keys, missing all kinds of events because we couldn’t get there, we decided to go ahead and get new ones. Then we found out that it would cost over $300 and decided to keep looking. Now, my car sits in the garage and so we don’t lock it, but yet it was locked. I convinced myself that I somehow locked them in the car, even though I knew this was almost impossible to do. Our cop friend came over and helped us break into the car. The alarm then filled the house until we disconnected it. After searching and completely cleaning out my car, still no keys. Now it was time to buy the new keys. I called the lock smith but couldn’t go trough with it. Randy was getting mad at me for not getting the new keys because it was highly messing him up for us to have to have him come home from work or whatever event he was at for us to do our thing, including going to the grocery store and simple little things. Finally 3 weeks later to the day we lost them, I was taking Grace with me to something and was putting her in her carseat in the back of Randy car (a little two door car that we had to break our backs to get the kids in) and as I was strapping her in I felt something poking out from the side of the cushion of her seat. My keys were in her seat in Randy’s car! After thinking about it, I remembered that the day they went missing, her seat was in fact in the house, next to the table I was positive I had left the keys. I even was able to remember her playing with my keys in her seat and had told her to put them back and had thought she did when she didn’t have them anymore. I knew the whole time that I hadn’t locked my car so the only explanation could have been that Grace had taken them. All my friends have told me that they think of me everytime they hear the song “This is the Stuff” start out with “I lost my keys in the great unknown.” The good thing from it all is that I got my ENTIRE HOUSE cleaned out and organized. How come I couldn’t remember those key little points when searching for my keys for 3 weeks? I would have found them in no time! This also meant that I was getting to church an hour before anything started on Sunday mornings with my newborn… that was fun.

  2. Oh my goodness, Laura, how frustrating!! Glad you found them! Yes, that song will have special meaning for me now as well 🙂

  3. Absolutely! Misspoken words, forgotten words, placing things where they don’t go (like putting chips in the fridge instead of the tupperware, etc). I could write a book about my own experiences of Mommy Brain, but goodness I’ll just say it is so very REAL!! Makes me feel so foolish and frustrated, especially about things I know that I know.

  4. Krista, I howled at your story when I first read it! Not sure which is worse, losing your keys, or locking your kids in the car (while it was running)?! Needless to say, I felt pretty stupid! You wrote, “I know “they” say Mommy Brain doesn’t exist, but clearly “they” haven’t observed my life.” It has nothing to do with your life, “they” never had kids!!

  5. No, the kids weren’t locked in the car, thankfully! They were in their seats, but since I didn’t have my keys, I wasn’t able to start the car 🙂

    But I’m thankful I could get in the car, because otherwise they would have been running around like maniacs while I tried to comandeer the Little Tikes car for my leap through the window.