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Restaurant Woes

Fast Food Kid ckforjc @ stock.xchng

My children have finally reached the age (almost 3 and 14 months) where I am starting to believe they are conspiring against me to make all public appearances something of a disaster.  Now, for those of you who have older children and are beginning right now to think “Ohhhhh just you wait!” I’m going to stop you and say that I get it.  As our kids get older I’m sure they will put me through even worse trouble than they are currently.

Although to be honest, I’m not sure if it will be worse trouble or just different trouble, because right now we are dealing with a 14 month old who makes a horrific mess of his food, will not stay seated in his high chair (because about 97% of all restaurant high chairs have broken restraints), and goes into high-pitched squealing noises when he decides he is DONE with the meal (approximately 45 seconds after our entrees arrive) as well as a 2.5 year old who wants to say hi to everyone in the restaurant, refuses to eat almost everything (except bread) on the menu, and alternates between wanting to stand on the seat or lay down on it.  Then there’s the toileting issues…The little one might need a diaper change (which means finding the elusive diaper changing table) and the older one might decide he needs to potty ten times during the meal, if not to potty, just to check out the facilities.

When they get to the age where they are brutally attacking one another with the silverware or jamming things into their noses (or other bodily orifices), or backtalking and wanting to text the entire time, I’m sure I’ll be longing for the days when all we had to worry about were a few macaroni noodles under the chairs.

Most Sundays we go out to lunch with our good friends JR and Rachel and their two kids who are 4 and 3 years old (so between all of them, there’s a 4, 3, 2, and 1 year old — good times!).  Every week toward the end of our meal we look at each other and say “Why do we do this to ourselves every week?!?!”

After a particularly awful lunch experience today, where I had to keep one hand on Spencer to continuously sit him back down in his seat and Miles was caught sticking crayons into his ears and neither one of them ate more than a child-sized fistful of their food, I would love to hear some of your stories!  We want to laugh at your expense as you tell us about the mayhem your kids have caused in public places, so tell us in the comments below!

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About Krista

Krista is a full-time working mom of two boys, currently aged 6 and 7. She lives in Kentucky with her husband, Brandon.


  1. Oh yes. I giggled when I read the line “when our entree’s arrive”. We haven’t done a restaurant where you wait for food with the kids (except for once-which was disastrous) since Grady was tiny. Just NOT WORTH IT. If I’m gonna spend the money, I want to enjoy it! HA! We do walk up and order places only these days, Moe’s, Panera, Qdoba, Lupi’s, etc. Totally understand what you are saying!

  2. I don’t know…. restuarants really don’t stress me out. Maybe it’s because I only have one? But we eat out all the time. Yes, she makes a mess… But as a former waitress, I know they’re going to have to sweep it anyway. It’s not that huge of a deal. We still RARELY buy her her own food (except maybe an extra side) and she eats what she eats. Mom and I (or Carl and I) just feed her off our plates. She sits in our laps half the time because the highchairs are gross… Or she’s tired.

    I dunno, we just eat out! I’ve never had it stress me out that much!